...to complain.
We all do it. And much, much more than we even realise. Have you ever tried to go an entire day without saying anything negative? That includes spilling your difficult day to your best-girl-friend, or texting someone to whine about how bored you are, or how long the line is, or that those pants aren't in your size. It includes groaning especially loud so that someone will maybe hear you and ask what's wrong. It includes sarcastic remarks and off-hand jokes that you really did mean. It includes muttering distasteful words under your breath when someone cuts you off in traffic, or when the dog wakes you up at 3am to go outside. It is thoroughly ingrained into our flesh and humanity, we want to spill it all, and we want people to react; to cater to us, to soothe us, to make us feel better.
It is a gargantuan task to attempt to hold our tongues and bring our thoughts into subjection. After all, the tongue is the most untamable part of the body. And the mind can run "out of control", it's not a realm that we can physically manage, such as tying it down or exercising it. But we still aren't given license to let our tongues and minds run away, just because perfection is unattainable.
I've collected a few pieces of prose and poetry that touch the subject of complaining, and they are very convicting. John Newton in his Olney Hymns (yes, I am still reading his works) wrote about prayer and he said:
Have you no words? Ah, think again,
Words flow apace when you complain,
And fill your fellow creatures ear
With the sad tale of all your care.
Were half the breath thus vainly spent,
To Heaven in supplication sent;
Your cheerful song would oftener be,
"Hear what the Lord has done for me."
You know it. It's all too easy to talk someone into a puddle on the floor, complaining about your boyfriend and how he is so very egotistical, and then the dress that got spoiled by some moron at the laundromat who wasn't careful with the bleach, and the dreadful headache you've had for the past few days -- oh allergies are just evil! -- and you know that funny noise the car has been making every time you turn on the air?... Words flow apace when you complain.
You know your friend isn't truly thrilled to be the captive audience, and when it all boils down, the long and short of it is simply: Nothing improves when you complain. Your friend may be able to offer a bit of advice, but I know deep down, you weren't really looking for advice. And you won't use it...
Psalm 142:1-2
I cry out to the LORD with my voice;
With my voice to the LORD I make my supplication.
I pour out my complaint before Him;
I declare before Him my trouble.
There's only one person who will handle all your problems, and that is the Lord. He even tells us to "cast all our cares upon Him" because He cares for us. Send up your worries to God and let them go; move on. He will hear them, and He is the most reasonable and capable person to take care of them.
Nobody wants to hear you complain, that's a good point to remember. You will have happier friends to be sure. But have you ever thought that you have nothing worth complaining about?
Your 17-year-old pet died? Your special date night ended badly? The tire went flat again? That's nothing compared to the pain and suffering that someone else went through. For you.
A Lamb goes uncomplaining forth,
The guilt of all men bearing;
And laden with the sins of earth,
None else the burden sharing!
Goes patient on, grows weak and faint,
To slaughter led without complaint,
That spotless life to offer;
Bears shame, and stripes, and wounds and death,
Anguish and mockery, and saith,
"Willing all this I suffer."
-- Paul Gerhardt
Jesus Christ suffered ultimately for you, even bearing the reproach of His own Holy Father. And He did not gripe and bemoan His heavy task.
The next time you want to open your mouth and wail, meditate upon what Christ went through silently. We have nothing worth complaining about, when we think of our trials in comparison to what Christ endured.
Lastly, John Newton also says in Cardiphonia:
"...the Christian submits to God's providential will; he yields to His sovereignty, acquiesces in His wisdom; he knows he has no right to complain of anything because he is a sinner; and he has no reason, because he is sure the Lord does all things well."
Clearly, complaining is a bold declaration of a lack of faith in God. We are proving that we don't approve the circumstances that He ordained, and that we must have things our way. True faith understands that "all things work together for the good of those that love God, who are the called according to His purpose", and that if all things are good, our response should be deep gratitude. (Yes, I am even deeply grateful for our president, Obama. I know that he is there for a sovereign reason.)
There's a large amount of evidence here, presented in opposition of complaining. We have no right to complain, as sinners who deserve far worse, who have an example of a Saviour who suffered silently. And if we truly believe that all that God does is good, we have no reason to complain.
The more you practice avoiding complaining, the more your "cheerful song would oftener be, 'Hear what the Lord has done for me.'" No, your circumstances may not change. But your perspective will. You may find yourself more willing to see the grander things God has for you.
Philippians 2:14-18 -- Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast the word of life, so that I may rejoice in the day of Christ that I have not run in vain or labored in vain.
Yes, and if I am being poured out as a drink offering on the sacrifice and service of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all. For the same reason you also be glad and rejoice with me.
