Purify My Heart

In order for there to be a change, you have to realize that something's wrong. ~ Josh Cockroft

At National Convention this year, the theme was "Changing lives to change the world." I saw that theme and thought, "Oh dear, won't this be fun? I hate change." and then for the first period of worship that week, Josh started us off by saying that phrase:  In order for there to be a change, you have to realize that something's wrong. That hit me like a hammer. I don't ever like to think of myself as wrong - none of us do - but was I wrong? Was I there to change something that was wrong? Why was I there?

Proverbs 30:21 ~ There is a generation that is pure in it's own eyes, yet is not washed from it's filthiness. 

 I had the idea that I was doing okay in my walk with the Lord. As you know, my diligence in Bible reading was pretty askew, but I thought I had fixed that. I had an accountability partner and life was hunky-dory. But I couldn't shake the feeling that something was between me and God.

Titus 1:15-16 ~ To the pure all things are pure, but to those who are defiled and unbelieving nothing is pure; but even their mind and conscience are defiled. They profess to know God, but in works they deny Him, being abominable, disobedient, and disqualified for every good work.

I didn't want change. I knew it would be painful to search my heart. So I decided I would learn, but I didn't need to change. God is so much wiser than me though. And He is sovereign, He does what He wants.

Matthew 5:8 ~ Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. 

The first day had been a long one and I had lost the chance of reading my Bible on my own, so after lights out, I pulled out my phone and read my Bible in bed. I was in Matthew 5, and started reading the beatitudes. "Blessed are the meek and yaddah yaddah... Blessed are the pure in heart... Well now. Purity is quite a foreign topic nowadays. Purity and innocence aren't held in very high regard. In fact, they're rather scoffed at. The hip thing now is being gangsta and ghetto. Riding the border of sin, using filthy language, watching dirty movies and filling the heart with lustful music. Being pure in heart is a lot harder than it sounds, it's so unpopular. Scandal is fashionable, purity is not." That was what jump-started my week, the issue of purity in a fallen world.

In order to have a heart for change, you have to have a heart for the changer. ~ Chad Warren 

One of the speakers was Chad Warren, the one who had guest directed the Iowa State Class. I had met him before and heard him speak. The issue he opened up was idolatry, and how anything that becomes top priority in your life, other than God, was an idol. Now no one, including me, thinks of themselves as idol worshipers. I'm certainly not bowing down to my car, or going gaga over a certain guy or celebrity. But what he said was true, there were certain things in my life that occupied my thoughts more than Christ. God began to work in my heart.

James 4:8 ~ Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 

The thing that weirded me out was that purity kept reoccurring. In my small group in the next day, we approached it on a rabbit trail. And there was one other girl who stated exactly what I had been thinking in my Bible study the night before. Coincidence?

Psalm 19:12-13 ~ Who can understand his errors? Cleanse me from secret faults. Keep back your servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me. Then I shall be blameless, and I shall be innocent of great transgression. 

It came up in a song in worship, called Refiner's Fire. The first lyrics are:  Purify my heart, let me be as gold and precious silver. It seemed rather appropriate.

Acts 3:19 ~ Repent therefore and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, so that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord... 

Then came the night that we split up into prayer groups. There were many topics addressing the government, the church, missions, abortion, families, the military, etc. And purity. I knew I had to go with that group. There was no other option that made as much sense. We prayed for purity in every aspect, sexual purity, mental, spiritual. Courage to remain pure amongst friends. It was convicting.

Isaiah 44:22 ~ I have blotted out, like a thick cloud, your transgressions, and like a cloud, your sins. Return to me for I have redeemed you.

And then we went back into the auditorium to worship. Worship after everyone's heart has been tuned with prayer is always the most deep and genuine and that night was no exception. Not a dry eye could be found, hearts were broken and the Spirit moved through everyone. He convicted me of things I hadn't even thought to be a problem. And He liberated me! Oh the joy of giving it all to the Lord and having my self washed clean!

Ezekiel 11:19-20 ~  Then I will give them one heart, and I will put a new spirit within them, and take the stony heart out of their flesh, and give them a heart of flesh, that they may walk in My statues and keep My judgments and do them; and they shall be my people, and I shall be their God.

He gave me a new heart of flesh! This verse had been one discussed in small groups and throughout the week, and not until I got home did I realized my mom had been praying this one for me. A young man in our  small group had said that every time we sin, our hearts become less tuned to the Spirit's pricks, more callused and stony. How true! I hadn't even realized how far I had strayed from God. I earnestly prayed that He would fetter me to Himself, and not let me become so callused again.

Romans 12:1 ~ And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. 

The words conformed and transformed in the Greek are in the passive tense. You don't conform or transform yourself, those things are being done to you. It all depends on the position you have put yourself in. Don't allow the world to conform you! Position yourself to be transformed by God. Even if you don't, He'll still do what He wants, and He can make you learn the hard way.

Philippians 4:8 ~ Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praise worthy - meditate on these things.

Ask the Lord to keep your heart pure, don't let the world conform you, don't become callused and stony. Ask the Lord what you have idolized. What or who is standing in His place? The Lord ought to be your one desire.

Desiderio Domini

                           {I long to be with my Savior}